Classes!

Today was my first day of classes and it was interesting, mostly uncomfortable and a little scary, but definitely interesting. Since registration didn’t happen on the day it was supposed to, I went to my classes unregistered. Which wasn’t a problem except that it was really difficult to find the classes I wanted to sign up for. Today I went to my psychology classes: Community Psychology, Youth Risk and Intervention, and Understanding Violence in South Africa. Community Psychology was pretty boring, I’m kind of annoyed that I have to take classes that get me credit at home because what’s the point of studying abroad if I’m just taking classes that I can take at Miami? But I try not to think of it that way and sign up for the most interesting classes possible. My Youth Risk class didn’t seem very interesting today but hopefully it will get a little better; it will focus a lot on how and why adolescence get them into at risk events (unprotected sex, drug abuse, violence). It seems like it will focus a lot on HIV/AIDS because that is one of South Africa’s major problems. It’s really difficult because I love participating in class; one of my least favorite feelings in the entire world is when a teacher asks a question and not one student answers. So in my Youth Risk class the teacher kept asking questions that no one would answer and I so badly wanted to answer, but I felt so nervous. I know hat you guys are thinking, I should just be myself and participate in these classes but it’s scary as hell!! I’m the only white girl in most of these classes and I’m terrified for them to hear my accent and assume all these horrible things about American students. One of the questions she asked was “what does social well-being mean?” and no one answered! Can you believe it, such a simple question. So I raised my hand and answered to have social well-being is to surround yourself with a supportive, happy community/social structure. The answer was fine but my heart just about stopped mid sentence when the entire class turned around and looked at me, because of my accent. I can’t really adequately describe how scary it was. I know they weren’t judging me but just to know that for that time every single person in that class was thinking about me and looking at me, scary scary scary!! So I was kind of shaken up, I know I’ll participate again soon but maybe I’ll make some friends first and get to know the teacher before that happens.
For the last class of the day I had Understanding Violence in South Africa. And this will hands down be my favorite class. I don’t even care if it doesn’t transfer, what I learn and experience in this class will be enough to call my study abroad experience a success. He started out this class talking about how the subject matter doesn’t appeal to everyone, and he wants to know what we’re getting ourselves into. I mean, “Understanding Violence in South Africa”, I’m preparing myself for the worst. He starts a discussion about what violence is and we talk about rape on campus and he asks us what he thinks the percentage of female students who get raped is and the lowest percentage someone called out was 20%...the lowest!!! Someone said 70%! I just sat there in awe. The class dismissed the 70% pretty quickly, but I was astounded that the lowest estimate was 1 in 5 girls. It’s just really interesting to hear about all of this, and how I am sitting there trying not to have my eyeballs pop out of my head, growing up in Ross and then going to college in small town Ohio. But I had to tell myself during this whole class this is exactly the reason I chose South Africa. I wanted to step outside of my comfort zone and see how other cultures experience life. My peers here have grown up in South Africa, these statistics aren’t surprising to any of them. As if that question wasn’t eye opening enough, the next question asked was “How many of you have been held to gunpoint with your life threatened?” and TEN people raised their hands!!! It’s about an 80 person class!!! So crazy, I can’t really explain what it felt like to be in that room at that moment but I’ll try. I have never felt more far away from home but it wasn’t a bad feeling, I felt like I had instantly become more open minded and a wiser person. If I had ever come close to being raped or held to gun point (I’m so sorry to put that image in your heads but this is what was going through my head in my class today!) I can’t imagine my life ever being the same, yet these people who I will soon call my friends have experienced just that and it’s not an unlikely experience to have growing up in this country. It kind of blew my mind, it will be really interesting talking openly about my experience (or lack their of) with violence in America, because I have been fortunate enough to grow up in safe communities. Classes were scary but such a great experience, I can not wait to learn more. I’m also trying to get into a Zulu class, I would love to learn some Zulu so I can figure out what my Zulu friends are saying about me in front of my face!

On a happier note, we met our president, Q (her name is actually a Zulu name that starts with a “click” but I can’t pronounce it!) of our Residence Hall today and she invited us to a brie (I mentioned earlier, it’s like an American BBQ 2.0) that she is throwing this Saturday! She’s so sweet and welcoming, she talked to us about race here. It’s still very much segregated, walking around campus it’s crazy to see how segregated the groups are. Whites hang out with whites, blacks with blacks, and Indians with Indians. It’s a weird concept because I know there is very much still a feel for racism in America but it’s not so openly admitted, or talked about. Q told us that everyone is very open to meet international students, its just more of the locals that segregate themselves. White South Africans would love to meet us and hang out with us but would give our black South African friends weird looks if we ever tried to hang out all together. Which is a concept that almost brought me to tears. I absolutely love this loud, flamboyant, fun South African culture and they seem so forward in so many aspects except this race thing, which is understandable once you think about when the Apartheid ended. In America the civil rights movement occurred half a century ago, here its so fresh in everyone’s world its too hard to let go of so quickly. Which I understand, I just hate it. Q told us to keep an open mind, and that “some people you meet will try to close it, but keep that thing open!” I look forward to all these obstacles I’m about to face, and have started to face, because I really think I’ll grow so much from them!!